So five weeks ago last Friday, I quit. The end. I've been interviewing for new jobs since the day I left, which helps stave off the creeping fear of sinking into chronic unemployment again. Back in the day there were no jobs to interview for, so at least I got that going for me this time around. That and the fact that I've slept through the night every night for five weeks. I haven't dreamt of e-mails and sweepstakes. No one has yelled at me or called me dumb or fat. I haven't had one single migraine. I have spent time with almost all the friends I somehow managed not to lose during the last 16 months.
And I don't give two shits about anyone who thinks I made the wrong choice, or that it was my fault for not just being tougher, working harder, not letting things get to me. Fuck that. I said goodbye to this one kid I used to work with, someone I wasn't BFF with but we got along OK. I expected him to be pissed off, after all someone would have to pick up the slack left by having one less person in a department that was shorthanded to begin with. But instead it was the best goodbye conversation I've ever had.
Where are you going?
I don't know yet. Nowhere. I just need to not be here anymore.
So you're just gonna walk the earth, like Caine?
Yeah, I guess I am.
When are you leaving?
Um, right now actually.
Whoa. That...kinda sucks.
I know! I am sorry, I just -
No no, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm going to walk the earth someday too. Good luck.
And if it takes forever, I'll wait forever. I'll just be Beth - no more, no less.
wow. good luck! you know, WorkPlace would love to have you back, i'm sure...
Posted by: prs on October 4, 2005 04:10 PMi miss you.
Posted by: maura on October 21, 2005 10:27 AM