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I have to look away from the game for a while because nothing good can come of two guys running into each other in the outfield like some goddamn Keystone Kops.

Chris and I went to last night's game, with Ryan, jon and D and the Crazy Tequila Guy. We were up in the sky, second to last row, right behind this guy who spent most of the first 7 innings texting back and forth with someone. He was at the game with his wife (they both had rings on, anyway), and kept angling the phone away from her and shielding the screen with his hand a little. Eventually I looked over and saw jon and D laughing and explaining something to CTG. Apparently, SMS Guy had just typed a reply in a font large enough to be seen by all those around him: "I do. Pussy is free."

Well, all right. That's one of those things where you just are dying to know what question could prompt such a reply. My guess was: "Who spends more money on beer than pussy?" or maybe "Who wants to go to a party with Jeter and A-Rod?"

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